Not Racist, Not Violent…I do cuss like a sailor though…

As you may have probably guessed by now, there will be an occasional F-Bomb in this blog. As well as S-Bombs and D-Bombs and Percision F-Strikes and Cluster Cussings that break out into itty bitty cussings and a whole lotta colorful language. Despite my college education and my love for witty remarks and snide humor on the keyboard, I do say those seven infamous words George Carlin liked to talk about. I’ve been at peace for it for some time because, in spite of how civilized that we all can be, those seven words just plain fit the most in much more circumstances then we can admit. You don’t have to ask me, pick up my favorite textbook on novel writing, Steven King’s ‘On Writing’, and have him explain the facts of life for you.

Also, there’s another dynamic I’d like to call the “Penn Jillette Defense” after the louder member of Penn and Teller. It’s Penn himself that described the “Penn Jillette Defense” in the first ever episode of their Showtime series, “Penn & Teller Bullshit:”

You’ll notice more obscentity than we usually use. That’s not just because it’s on Showtime, and we want to get some attention. It’s also a legal matter. If one calls people liars and quacks, one can be sued and lose a lot of one’s money. But “motherfuckers” and “assholes” is pretty safe. If we said it was all scams, we could also be in trouble. But BULLSHIT, oddly, is safe. So forgive all the bullshit language. We’re trying to talk about the truth without spending the rest of our lives in court because of litigious motherfuckers!

Not only does it get the sting across while making the plantiff look like a complete dick if he or she does try to sue you? (Judge: Let me get this straight? You want to rip every dollar from this guy . . . because he called you a Mother Fucker? Please, GTFO and take your Fail with you, you stupid idiot!) It also can keep you from saying even worse things to someone. I refer of course to anything that can be construed as an epitaph. While I personally don’t use any of the sort–and even when it does slip through it’s flagarantly out of context; just go on the Random Board no 4chan and see fine examples of this–would you rather see someone like Cosmo Kramer jump up and down going, “HE’S AN ASSHOLE! HE’S AN ASSHOLE! HE’S AN ASSHOLE!” to that cel phone camera? Also to be mentioned is the obvious: Calling someone a “Dick” judges someone not by race/sex/creed/nationality/orientation/whatever, but by character. And sometimes the chance of criteria doesn’t mean a change in results. All the tolerance in the world can only go so far when the person you’re tolerating is a total jerk, regardless of who they are.

So my occasionally coarse language has their explanation, and their purpose. In all honestly, I can go on record and say that I don’t use any worse language than what an average child hears on the street, or worse, has aimed directly at him or her. The most I can do is give you a heads up on the matter, and to remind you that some of the stuff I say, while not intentionally offensive, may not be appropriate for that text to speech function on your computer. I’m just saying.

Oh, if you really wanna hear cussing? I’ll direct you to Gunnery Sgt. R. Lee. Ermey. He’s a professional, I’m just an autistic asshole with a WordPress site.