……The moment I heard that the Supreme Court has ruled 8-1 for the Westburo Babtist Church, claiming that their Soldier Funeral Protests are protected free speech under the First Amendment, I suggested an Office Pool guessing the closest time, in day and time, without going over, that someone just goes up and shoots at these fuckers. Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks this. God help me if I’m right.
However, I know how to effectively deal with the WBC. Take an 18-wheeler, fit it with enough speakers to launch the truck. Double the number of speakers. Than Double it again. And Again. And one more. (If it goes off in New York, I want to hear it from my apartment in St. Louis. That Loud)
Take this speaker demon, park it across the street from those protests, aim them all at point blank range, load the music player with the raunchiest guttural dreck music. Set Volume to max. Press Shuffle. Press Play. (Preferably from a safe distance. Like from Iraq.)
Have this demon truck follow the WBC wherever they go, always playing at full blast. All complaints will be delegated to the 1st Amendment, which will be posted among the mass monstrosity of speakers. Lawsuits will be countered with damage payments going into the maintenance, fuel, and further operation of this truck. The truck will continue to function until the Phelps family dies.
Of course, they’ll all be deaf before that.
I know it’s a bit…much, but I expect a counter protest that can match Fred Phelps in offensiveness will be more entertaining than just watching him get his head blown off in CNN.
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