As you know my favorite animated show in America–sorry Hunan Greatdreams–is “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.” If Hasbro even thinks of breaking the mold Lauren Faust has made for cartoon shows–even a cartoon show for girls–this fsking epic, I’m siccing a Beholder on the execs! We Wizards of the Coast marks can be that ragey. You ask me, less than half of the audience is the intended girls and their families, the rest are people who just wanted to see a cartoon that does not suck. This is the kind of style of show I’d like to make myself.
Now you think of the remainer of the utter crap you get from the cartoon channels, Cartoon Network, Nick, Toon Disney, PBS, Fox on Sundays, I can go on, and check off this list of utter crap.
These are the shows that the idiots at the Daytime Emmys think is appropriae for children consumption, and worthy of a reward. The ones I put in Bold Italics are the shows I actually like:
Outstanding Children’s Animated Program: “The Backyardigans,” Nickelodeon; “Curious George,” PBS; “Dinosaur Train,” PBS; “Penguins of Madagascar,” PBS; Sid the Science Kid,” PBS
Outstanding Pre-School Children’s Series: “Between the Lions,” PBS; “Disney Mickey Mouse Clubhouse,” Disney Channel; “Sesame Street,” PBS; “Yo Gabba Gabba!” Nickelodeon
Outstanding Special Class Animated Program: “Back at the Barnyard,” Nickelodeon; “Fanboy and Chum Chum,” Nickelodeon
Outstanding Performer In A Children’s Series: Kevin Clash, “Sesame Street,” PBS; Caroll Spinney, “Sesame Street,” PBS; Leslie Carrara-Rudolph, “Sesame Street,” PBS; Eric Jacobson, “Sesame Street,” PBS
Outstanding Performer In An Animated Program: Bill Farmer, “Disney Mickey Mouse Clubhouse,” Disney Channel; Danny Jacobs, “Penguins of Madagascar,” Nickelodeon; Tom McGrath, “Penguins of Madagascar,” Nickelodeon; Martin Short, “The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That!” PBS; Peter Cullen, “Transformers Prime,” The Hub; Steven Tyler, “The Wonder Pets!” Nickelodeon
Outstanding Directing In An Animated Program: “Disney Kick Buttowski,” DisneyXD; “Fanboy and Chum Chum,” Nickelodeon; “Martha Speaks,” PBS; “Penguins of Madagascar,” Nickelodeon; “Toot & Pudddle,” NICK Jr.; “Transformers Prime,” The Hub
Outstanding Directing In A Children’s Series: “Biz Kid$,” PBS; “The Electric Company,” PBS; “Sesame Street,” PBS
Outstanding Original Song – Children’s and Animation: “Seven Days a Week,” “Imagination Movers,” Disney Channel; “What I Am,” “Sesame Street,” PBS; “I Wonder,” “Sesame Street,” PBS; “Rakhi Road,” Sesame Street,” PBS; “The Cat in the Hat Knows A Lot About That! Opening Theme,” “The Cat in the Hats a Lot About That!” PBS
Outstanding Achievement in Sound Editing – Live Action and Animation: Biz Kid$” PBS; “The Electric Company,” PBS; “Hot Wheels Battle Force 5,” Cartoon Network; “Penguins of Madagascar,” Nickelodeon; “WordGirl,” PBS
Outstanding Achievement in Sound Mixing – Live Action and Animation: “Between the Lions,” PBS; “Private Sessions,” A&E; “Sesame Street,” PBS
Outstanding Writing In Animation: “Arthur,” PBS; “Back at the Barnyard,” Nickelodeon; “Dinosaur Train,” PBS; “Penguins of Madagascar,” Nickelodeon; “Transformers Prime,” The Hub; “WordGirl,” PBS
Outstanding Casting for an Animated Series: “Disney Kick Buttowski,” DisneyXD; “Fanboy and Chum Chum,” Nickelodeon; “Penguins of Madagascar,” Nickelodeon
No, I did not neglect anything, none of the shows that got a nomination is even worth getting $#!* on. Not even the one with Mickey Mouse on it, and that is saying a lot. (Honestly, isn’t Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is what? A 5 year old rerun?)
I’ve been talking with others about Scarlet PI, and they share their own stories with me, hoping that they could get into the world of this brand. While I do encourage people to do so with the Creative Commons License, and Scarlet PI is more than what I can type on my own keyboard. There is scant little I can do about adding your characters and storyline into the books I write. My stories are pretty much set, especially with the current Story Series, and I still have that lesson of "Too Many Cooks" spoiling too many previous web comics to count.
My ruling on people wanting to make their own stories in the Scarlet PI brand is this, "I’ll let them, and I’ll even encourage you to do so, but I do not have the ability to publish every story and character into the books. That honor must be earned by your own abilities."
How close you are to that honor will be gauged on the level of story you make, which I will personally rank.
These can be just about any story out there on the tubes. You’ll find them more in Fanfiction.net or Fiction.net or what other site you come up with. The only requisite is that you write the story yourself. There’s a computer, there’s a keyboard, have fun kids. Just don’t post online something that you’d might regret seeing on a troll site.
In a couple weeks, I’ll set up a Wiki to store the stories that interest me enough to promote. These are the upper class fanfiction that people would find enjoyable but not necessarily become part of the cannon. I’ll let you know personally when your story becomes Level 2 and ask for your permission to post it on this wiki.
What makes a story Level 2 is how much quality you put in it. Just about anybody can just type on a keyboard like you’re jerking off and make some far out tale with Scarlet in it, but if you want Level 2, I’d want to see that you did some good work on it. Here’s what I’m looking for.
- At least Proofread, or at most have it thoroughly edited. Yeah, yeah, I might not be perfect in spelling and grammar, but I do appreciate a beta reader giving me some proper feedback. I encourage you to do the same and that goes beyond a couple passes in the spelling and grammar checker. Nothing ruins a story for me like a typo so glaring that the blind can see it. I’m not talking whether or not you single or double space after your periods, I’m talking about stuff that makes my eyes bleed.
- Decent formatting on a Word Processor. The biggest turn off I have for Fanfiction.net is that it’s always center aligned. It’s just not readable to more people than just me. Level 2 stories need to be either left or block aligned. (All would be too much) with space between paragraphs. The font for the main text needs to be uniform and easy to read, although you can use other fonts when you need them. The need for a word processor is a must; Notepad isn’t even worth making notes on, and all the others are better used for coding not writing. And don’t bitch to me about not being made of money; Libreoffice will do just fine. Exporting to PDF format is a plus.
- The Storyline must be self-contained and not depend too much on the previous works. I still have horror stories about how major the original Blood and Metal crashed and burned, all because the piss-off I had on the Archie Comics came through on my storywriting. Learn from my Fail, folks. Your story should not require me to rewrite the books that I’ve published. All they need is vigilant eyeballs finding those stubborn typo bunnies. The story you make must be able to stand on its own, and not interfere with the timeline.
- Side Note: The current Canonized Timeline goes as follows. The Story Series from Books 1 to say 6 or 7 starts from day one and deals with the first cases with HFL, and is pretty much written in the concrete and is setting. It’ll focus on a few characters in HFL, Scarlet and her Circle of friends, a couple characters who are double agents, a nanotech symbioite that becomes Princess Aria, and that’s it. I can’t add your story to that. Some time follows after this series, then Murder in Main Street takes place, followed by the upcoming Adventure under the Rising Sun. There is plenty of space between the Story Series and the two Pilot books to set your story in. If you need questions on continuity, please let me know.
- There are Original Characters, and there are Mary Sues. Learn the fsking difference! Look, I’m not going to blame you if you start typing away and overcompensate for your life by making a character that is just too perfect. (That’s how I describe it; it’s just like guys with small johnsons getting blinged out cars. Or why Cloud, Squall, Inuyasha, et al., carry swords big enough to surf on.) I just don’t want your character crowding out the characters in my cannoned books, that’s all. The camera might be on your prized child in your story, but keep in mind, your character isn’t the only one shining.
- Good characters aren’t perfect, they have their own personal ticks and qualities, both good and bad. Granted you can start with a self-insertion, but I’d suggest that you work on that character some more, on different stories, including different universes than Scarlet PI. In time you’ll find that your character in your head wants to go off in paths that you wouldn’t go yourself, take on a name other than your own or that you wouldn’t call yourself, and turn into someone other than you. This is what you want to happen. You. Will. Thank. Me. Especially with the name; if he or she is still using the name you were born with, keep working at it.
- Do not—DO. NOT!—merge any other brand or story to Scarlet PI with your character. Whenever I see someone who’s the love child of Sailor Moon and Goku, or a descendant of Captain Jack Sparrow, or something that brings a fandom that does not belong here, (Note too all Wizards. There’s the fsking door. It leads to Islands of Adventure where you’re supposed to go.) I have to favor my forehead. And I don’t need the headache. Keep your characters as part of SPI and only SPI. Granted, you can make an homage to your favorite show (A HFL version of Twilight Sparkle, anyone? A character with a Sera Fuku, perhaps? Keyblades with Mjnoir’s enchantments?) but don’t hardwire any links to other shows.
These are the crème de la crème of the stories. The story is tight, well read, and can stand on its own, the characters are thought out and original, and almost all of the typos and grammatical errors are ironed out. Also, to have a story go Level 3, it also needs to be able to click right in place on the continuity. It doesn’t have to have its own spot between Cannonized books, your story can have its own route along the path. Say you want to have Bonnie Hood go off in her own adventure. Or have an HFL character who’s story is told from capture to either rebellion or contentment. Or maybe even a character who comes along just to help out the main party as you go, but do not wish to interfere with the previously printed books, there’s one character who’ll be just that; not requiring me or any other writer who’ve already published their books to rewrite their books, but just goes alongside the story in its own path, like an access road alongside a Interstate.
Congratulations! Your story just became part of the Extended Universe. It’s officially part of the Brand, even though it may or may not be published. Maybe you can publish it yourself, and by all means do so. Keep with the Creative Commons licensing I use and knock yourself out. You are well on your way of being a great writer in my book if you make it to Level 3. If you’re a good fanfictionist, that would definitely translate into being a great writer of original fiction.
Also, these stories do stand a chance of being published into books later on, although I can’t guarantee that every story will see print or how long it’ll decide to do so. If the stories are small enough, they might be bundled up together with other stories and become an Anthology. If a story is good enough, it might become canonized into the Pilot Series—Either way, that’s Level 4; your story is now in the cannon—but that’s after a lot of negotiation and maybe even some minor tweaks and polishes. (I’ll remain the sole writer of the Story Series, and I’m afraid I can’t put any of your characters in it. At all. Sorry about this.)
I hope this clarifies matters to all of you who want to write a story in Scarlet PI or have a character that would be just grand to put in the story, and that all of you will agree with this. I made this so that the quality of the Scarlet PI brand would remain intact and avoid the many pitfalls previous attempts suffered. It’s not all set in stone though, if a minor detail needs more work on, please let me know so I can iron that out.
I can remember what happened on 9-11-01. 3,000 people died, 30 Billion Assholes fapped, and half of America wanted to lynch the President over it. (Keep in mind that we’re talking about the Shrub, not Ba Rock. Keep that Race Card down!)
Part of me was desiring to turn all of Afganistan into a parking lot. Part of me prayed to God that no Muslims approached me. The rest of me felt like I was in Junior High all over again, in a global scale. America is not the bully. America is the geek in school who is bullied by all the other countries for being, well, just being. And God help America if they even think of defending themselves against the bullies, let alone fight back.
And I know that there were a lot of people who felt that way.
I think we have the right to cheer this day, when we learned that we have a confirmed kill on Osama Bin Ladin.
I’ll be in his grave with a full bladder and a rack of bacon.
Let me start and say that I really had a good time in my first convention, but I have to say that my feet would want to disagree with me. I had to contend with blisters on my little toe and a walk resembling Dr. House. By the next time I go to a con, which is hopefully Archon at the same center on Late September, I’d get myself some better shoes.
Before everything else, I need to report on what I was worried about since I decided to do this convention, I worried about people knowing me only by a Google search for "David Gonterman" and thinking of me only in terms of the now thankfully defunct (May I piss on its grave) Encyclopedia Dramatica. A lot of people, including a voice in the back of my head, tell me that they in fact don’t know me at all. But I still had my worries.
Everyone there, and especially my roommates, was quite cordial. In fact, when I met Doug Walker from thatguywiththeglasses.com and gave him my business card, he didn’t recognize me.
That puts things into a better perspective for me. A much needed better perspective. It’s hard to think that trolls are not the sole voice on the opinions of you if that’s all your hear. I was looking for another area to socialize in and expand my network and I found it. Now I just have to have it grow. That would mean more conventions, or other off-line sites to go so. That’s something to aim for, wouldn’t you say?
Also there’s another point that I’ve almost forgot: It seems that there’s an unspoken tradition in AnimeSTL, where every year at least once during the weekend, a Tornado Warning hits. And this year was no exception. While I was in a heated RPG with others, they all shepherded every one of us, booth manners, cosplayers, guest stars, et all, into the storm shelters for a half hour. And it seems that it was flat out expected. When it was over, they were even selling T-Shirts that said “I survived Tornado-Con.” I just went back to the RPG.
And that leads me up to the main point of the report, which is where I’ll need a good amount of Industrial Strength Pixie Dust: I usually hanged around the tabletop gaming area, which is how I want to socialize in the future, provided I could find a good IRL group to play with. It is there where I met the people of Black Pidgeon Press: http://blackpigeonpress.com/ This is a company that made a popular indie-style RPG named Hacktastic which might resemble D&D on Steroids. I played an intro adventure there and there are parts that were fsking hilarious. Once I update the Adam Packbell D&D Journal and set up a site for it, I’ll let you know about it. But that’s not why I’m calling for the pixie dust. When I gave them a copy of my D&D character to transfer to Hacktastic, they liked the way that I added a backstory to the character, and were looking for writers to make books for them. I gave them a copy of my books on CD-ROM (I passed them around to spread the word out, of course) and it eventually got to the head of that company. If the cards fall just right for me, I might be employed writing for Black Pidgeon Press, and no doubt getting that needed big break. Wish me luck.
While I was in that room, I also played a lot of M:TG, and people had a lot of fear for the main deck I was nursing. It was a Blue-White Level-up Deck with Proliferate that can really ramp up the creatures pretty quick when I get it to go, it’s a very aggressive combo when it works. I still need to get some decent sideboard cards for any metagame, but all in all it’s an excellent deck for me to take to casual games, which is what I was looking for in the first place. I even had the opportunity to trade with my meager, but historic, collection of cards. I found out that I had rares that I didn’t even knew I had, like Strip Mine. That got me a great number of Rare cards and suggestions for this deck. I’d like to have the whole deck be somewhere near Extended for any future games.
And last but not least—I still need to upload all the pics I snapped and share them all with you—of what I wanted to report on is meeting one of my heroes in the online world: Michael “Mookie” Terracciano. He’s the one who does Dominic Deegan http://www.dominic-deegan.com/ and is known, according to the convention guide, for ‘unique characters, addictive storylines, painful puns, awful alliteration and (gasp!) reliable update schedule.’ That alone makes his books better than mine, but it was the way he dealt with the trolls that really makes me look up to him. He has fan groups that are known for their acidic tirades over every little thing they see wrong with the strips, and I’m talking right down to the pixels. The constant abrasiveness would have sent many a prospective cartoonist away, and I know for sure I had, but Mookie is still going on strong, especially when he has a long list of conventions to go to for support. While all the traveling and dealing with hotel rooms would be a pain in the neck for me, having a convention schedule might be what I need to keep things going.
Upcoming Book Schedule
And that leads me to what I’m trying to get going as well, project wise.
If the stars align just right and Black Pigeon wants to hire me, I’ll have a pretty useful schedule for the future. But for now I can at the least go back to editing the two books I’m working on now; BAM 03 and Command Unit Delta. I hope to at least get 1000 words in daily, come hell or high water. (Hell and High Water came during the year to date.)
I do have some first drafts scheduled, and both are NaNoWriMo Style projects.
In May, I intend to do the first draft of the second book in Scalret’s Story series, Bunny in the Den. People have been clamoring over when I can put that book out, and I haven’t even started with it yet. I figure that this next month would be perfect to begin.
And in November, I’ve already planned the book for NaNoWriMo 2011: I wanted to redo “Lost Boy Found” and clean up the story and crap, but I haven’t had the chance to do it. I’d figure using that title for this winter’s yearly cannonball.
Of course that might change if Black Pigeon hires me, but at least I have stuff planned.
Such as setting up a second part of this report, where I comment on the pictures that I’ve set up in the drop-down menu.
For plenty of armchair politicians out there in recent weeks, the only shock they have to their systems is that they’re not really surprised at all this.
If you took a closer look at the Health Care debates and all those town halls of 2009, and the Tea Parties of 2010, you might have had some spirited debate, but at least it was intelligent as well. The majority of them were ordinary people taking their time out of their busy day and voicing their very strong concerns. Concerns that would have kept them up at night if they didn’t voice them. The only areas where they’ve raised their voices is when they were pretty much ignored, or looked down on. Nobody wants that, not even a teabagger. I remember one time where a politician turned up his nose at someone telling him to his face that he has no time for some Dittohead with a talking point, and the person he just talked to countered with "Excuse me, I’m a democrat." And note that he didn’t even use one cuss word. I would have been at the fsker’s throat.
That’s why I’m a writer, staying in my apartment on the computer, and not one of the New Breed of Political Junkies.
If you’ve been to one of these Tea Party-style meetings with an open mind, you’ll find them pretty much following Ba Rock’s call for civility two years before he made that call. I should know, I’ve been to one. The crowd was very friendly, welcoming and amicable. They greet you with a smile and shake your hand, and actually use well thought out explanations to their positions. It was a lot more than just Ba Rock Bashing. Or for that matter, Nanci Pilosi and Harry Reed bashing. And after the event, they clean up after themselves, leaving the area as clean—or even better—than when they left it. They respect the surrounding areas and at times even seek out their business. It was a good thing.
Compare that to what we’re seeing now in Wisconsin.
This is not Spirited Debate in a Democracy.
This is 4chan.
I’m not going to make any more comments about it. I’ll just put up some Youtubes and let you see for yourself.
And for someting lighter to end it with, here’s our good friend, the new drug, Charlie Sheen,
Does he appear tame compared to the SCIU trolls? You make the call.
……The moment I heard that the Supreme Court has ruled 8-1 for the Westburo Babtist Church, claiming that their Soldier Funeral Protests are protected free speech under the First Amendment, I suggested an Office Pool guessing the closest time, in day and time, without going over, that someone just goes up and shoots at these fuckers. Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks this. God help me if I’m right.
However, I know how to effectively deal with the WBC. Take an 18-wheeler, fit it with enough speakers to launch the truck. Double the number of speakers. Than Double it again. And Again. And one more. (If it goes off in New York, I want to hear it from my apartment in St. Louis. That Loud)
Take this speaker demon, park it across the street from those protests, aim them all at point blank range, load the music player with the raunchiest guttural dreck music. Set Volume to max. Press Shuffle. Press Play. (Preferably from a safe distance. Like from Iraq.)
Have this demon truck follow the WBC wherever they go, always playing at full blast. All complaints will be delegated to the 1st Amendment, which will be posted among the mass monstrosity of speakers. Lawsuits will be countered with damage payments going into the maintenance, fuel, and further operation of this truck. The truck will continue to function until the Phelps family dies.
Of course, they’ll all be deaf before that.
I know it’s a bit…much, but I expect a counter protest that can match Fred Phelps in offensiveness will be more entertaining than just watching him get his head blown off in CNN.
If you were waiting for a deal to get my books, then here it comes: I’m making a CD-ROM to pass out my books (BAM 1 and 2, Murder in Main Street USA, and Vixen in the Box) to others while I’m there, and it will also be made available online for now until the AnimeSTL weekend. (April 15-17) Also, to sweeten the pot, I’m also including the Johnny Briz Pilot Script and previews of two more books that will be published later on in 2011: Command Unit Delta, and Scarlet PI’s Adventure Under the Rising Sun. It will all be contained in a CD-ROM which can easily be copied and shared.
The cost of this disk is $10US and the payment has to come through PayPal. (davidgonterman at foxfirestudios dot com) The money will do into the actual burning and shipping of the disk, with the rest helping to pay my way to my first convention, so if you buy a copy of two, I’ll gladly appreciate it.
I won’t tell you how much I love this series. I’ll just give you the link to the first 6 Episodes, which is in a bit.ly Bundle: http://bit.ly/eU9NOr
I’ll be sure to give you updates on new episodes on my Twitter, so keep an eye on it.
Why is it that I’m the only 9-12er that actually praises President Obama whenever he does the right thing. Must be my wish to respect the office, I guess.
It’s part of my reaction to the backlash against the Arizona shooting. I can pretty much sum it up with a blog post from The Blaze:
Day 1: Crazy person murders people in Tucson.
Day 1 + 1 minute: Some in the media begin to blame Sarah Palin and demand that she responds.
Day 2: It begins to look like the shooter had nothing to do with Palin. Media still demands Palin respond.
Day 3: Shooter looking to be more insane than ideological. Media still can’t believe that Palin hasn’t responded to something she has nothing to do with.
Day 4: Shooter could care less about politics. Where is Palin? Why won’t she respond?
Day 5: Palin responds via video. Story on NBC Nightly News trots out her “target map” and ties it to Gifford, then shifts to focus on two words of her eight minute video by interviewing people who say she’s anti-Semitic and wondering what this will do for her chances in 2012.
It‘s really hard to believe that Palin doesn’t like the mainstream media more.
That was pretty much what the liberal branch of the media—including countless blogs and blog commenters, have been doing all faricking weekend. (This is why I do not allow Anonymous Posting, which might by why you never see comments here.) And I’m not pinning blame on just the Blues, there’s a lot of Red commenters (mostly Bloggers and Commenters, Beck, Hannity and Limbaugh have been very restrained in their speech. You can criticize what someone’s doing and not flat out wish him or her dead. I mean, save for Fred Phelps—I will not mention his involvement here—I don’t wish anyone ill) who do it to. I really started rewriting Blood and Metal out of what happened in Marvel Comics at that time (Post Civil War) where Captain America—Steve Rogers, not Winter Soldier—was killed on the alter of this toxic political environment which we had ever since November of 2000. His dead corpse was just the peak of a stinking cesspool mountain of towers that remain unrebuilt, Gulf coasts that remain in ruins, a Space Shuttle that’s unreplaced, a border that seems will never be secure, and a countless other ills that plague this country because we are too busy ripping into each other’s throats in the political area and claiming that we’re “Blood Libel” for what we say because some nutcase went on a shooting spree. In fact, I just read on the Firefox ticker that an Arizona Republican Chairman is actually resigning before he’s shot in the street. By a Retaliatory Shooter. Why do I actually see this happening before spring, and why do I dread knowing what will happen?
And then there’s President Obama’s reaction:
Look. You don’t have to like his policies. He might be speaking through his teleprompter. But what he said here in this memorial is pure class:
"At a time when our discourse has become so sharply polarized — at a time when we are far too eager to lay the blame for all that ails the world at the feet of those who think differently than we do — it’s important for us to pause for a moment and make sure that we are talking with each other in a way that heals, not a way that wounds…Scripture tells us that there is evil in the world, and that terrible things happen for reasons that defy human understanding…Bad things happen, and we must guard against simple explanations in the aftermath…But what we can’t do is use this tragedy as one more occasion to turn on one another."
This is something that needs to be louder than all the finger pointing we’ve been getting since this Saturday. This past weekend, a 9-year-old girl was killed on that same alter as Steve Rogers. If this nation is ever to survive to see the 2012 election, she’s got to be the last.
I put Obama in the first book of BAM for a reason. I hate this toxic environment—from both sides—as much as I detest illiterate congress people voting on bills they refuse to read. I don’t listen to political bashings, and I don’t participate in it. And part of me just wishes that this shit gets stopped before something really terrible happens.
And here, the District of Colombia counts:
In the former, they just flipped their camera phones in one hand and fapped with the other. Especially the one who posted his video in you tube. Listen to him and you can tell, he was getting his wank on.
In the latter. The shooter was tackled down en masse and to hell with the requirement that shit must be recorded.
Which state would you want to live in?